Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
