The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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