I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
