; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
