I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Who put my cat in the fridge?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
