Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
