It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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