i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
