it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
