Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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