just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
