dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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