..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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