I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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