ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
