Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
