I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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