R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
