The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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