Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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