this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
