Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
