I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
