dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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