We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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