Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
