when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
