Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
