Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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