Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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