yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
