Can i not drive my cunt home
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
