were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
