We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
