does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
whose ass print is on the piano?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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