That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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