i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
