I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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