i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
