she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just high enough for therapy.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
