There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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