I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
