it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
