how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
