is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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