Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
