i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
