Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
