I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
babies were throwing up all over the place
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Randomize
