He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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