So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just want nice things and good sex
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize