Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
