Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
