I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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