already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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