Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
