I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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