I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
