Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
