Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
