he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize