absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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