And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
